Letter To Eric & Kathy On The Mix

by Jhet Bhlak on February 11, 2011

I’ve been waking up late in the mornings recently. It’s a re-occurring problem I have unfortunately. Some days I can wake up early and others I can sleep through all four alarms.

Lucky for me the local radio station decided to unwittingly help me with my dilemma this morning. The radio, boom box really, is one of those four alarms I was talking about. Because of them I was actually up early today and I just had to write them and let them know how much I appreciated it.

Here is a copy of the email…

Dear Eric and Kathy,

I must thank you for this morning. You see lately I’ve been waking up late for work and while its not a major issue since I have flexible hours it is still an annoyance. For some reason, the last few years I have had to have four alarms to wake up on time. I have one alarm clock that goes off at at 5am that I hit the snooze button on every nine minutes for an hour. My radio, tuned to The Mix of course, starts blasting Eric and Cathy at 5:30 am. At this time the light next to my bed, which is on the same timer, also turns on and blasts light into my eyes. And finally, at 6am the second alarm clock turns on…which, of course, I continue to hit the snooze button on every nine minutes until it turns off. Ironically, it’s the quiet after all that blaring noise and light that usually wakes me up at 7:15ish.

But not this fine Friday morning! This AM I was violently ripped out of my comatose-like dream state by a mind rending, nightmare inducing wailing screech coming from the radio. My dream world shuddered with this ungodly, ear piercing falsetto. My dream buildings started to crumble as if an end-of-the-world earthquake was tearing apart the very fabric of my subconscious. People were screaming and running in terror as bricks were raining down all around. And as I struggled to reach the waking world I swear I heard someone scream, “RELEASE THE KRAKEN!” And it was released. A 500 foot tall behemoth crossbreed between Medusa and a Wailing Banshee materialized out of nowhere and charged me bellowing, “GA GA GA GA!!” And this is when I woke up and the true nightmare began. Lady Gaga was bellowing some new form of ‘musical’ torture on my beloved radio station, The Mix.

Now being the man that I am, I’m not afraid to admit I wept in terror at waking to this staggering abuse of my ear drums and psyche. And truth be told, I think I even wet myself a little bit. But all of that aside, I did manage to make it to work 5 minutes early today. And so I must say thank you…and please don’t do that to me again.



PS – If you happen to know a good psychologist that specializes in post traumatic stress disorder and nervous tics, please pass the info along to me. I now need one.

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