Ding! Jhet Becomes Level 2 Gardener!

by Jhet Bhlak on May 29, 2011

So the storms we had last Wednesday knocked over this thorny, tree-bush, weed thing from hell that happened to be right up against the side of my house. I’ve been wanting to get rid of it for a year or so now. All it’s been doing is attaching itself to my gutter and causing issues. So in a way the storm pushing this thing over was a blessing…almost.

The problem is, as I mentioned, the ferocious little treant attached itself to my gutter so when the tree beast came down it took the gutter with it. Bastard. Well you know what that means. Time for some payback!

So what tools tools should you use to get rid of a monstrous bush? Norelco? Gillette? *snicker*

Toiletry humor aside, I’m thinking an axe, a chainsaw or perhaps a backhoe! Raaaaaawwwwrrrr!!!! So I go to see just what manly tools such as these I can find in the garage.

Unfortunately, my search only turns up a bent screwdriver, a broken razor knife, 3 quarts of used motor oil and a rusty shovel. While I had considered wielding the broken razor knife against the mighty thorn bush, I didn’t want to spend the next 14 hours trying to hack through the base of a 12 foot tall monstrosity with it. That left the rusty shove as my weapon of choice.

Let me tell you this, I have new respect for the way Stacia and Kirsten wield their shovels with such ease and grace. A rusty shovel is no easy weapon to master!

However, master it I did. For the next hour I relentlessly wielded my shovel with great vigor and enthusiasm, hacking and slashing through dirt and two inch thick roots! Try as it might, the tree beasts thorns were no match for my rusty shovel and determination. In the end, I lay the carcass of the tree beast out for display in the front lawn so that all all the tree beasts from hell know the folly of taking root in my humble abode.

The end.

PS – Anyone know of a good chiropractor that sells chain saws?

Video: Thorny Tree Beast From Hell Corpse

Picture Gallery: Thorny Tree Beast From Hell Corpse

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Donna May 29, 2011 at 4:56 pm

I love the story and the ending lol. The gillete comment took me a moment – but the snicker sent the message home!
I do know a great chiropractor but not so sure he has a chain saw – hahaha.

Jhet Bhlak May 29, 2011 at 5:32 pm

That stupid bush was a royal pita lol! I think you can hear me panting in the background of the video even hehe

Jhet Bhlak May 31, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Yes! The association fixed the gutters today! =D

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