Sally The Thug

by Jhet Bhlak on August 4, 2011

Sally grew up at the crossroads of Garage Door and Front Door. It was a rough neighborhood but it was all she knew.

The daily comings and goings of the locals was a constant disruption to her home. It was common for Sally to have to spend hours rebuilding after the daily abuse her webs took. Often times Sally would rebuild until the wee hours of the morning. Not to mention, food was scarce and the weather was always an issue.

But I digress. This isn’t a story of sadness, it’s a story of great accomplishment and success. You see, Sally was just a tiny lass when she moved to the crossroads. At best Sally could be called a hoodlum, a minor player. But that was all about to change for Sally. She was about to reach heights that few of her kind had ever aspired to.

Little did Sally know when she first moved to the crossroads that her life there would begin with strife and turmoil. You see, Sally inadvertently moved in directly above the local gangsta spider, Herbert The Hood.

Herbert The Hood was the head thug of the crossroads. He was a jittery, funnel web spider with and attitude and a propensity for sudden violent outbursts for no apparent reason. Many at the crossroads suspected that Herbert was addicted to caffeine but none dare make that accusation to his face.

Herbert ran the crossroads with a ruthlessness bordering on psychosis. None dared to cross him. And Sally, being the new kid in town, bore the brunt of The Hood’s abuse. The verbal abuse was the worst for Sally. The taunts and threats were constant but nothing was worse than Herbert’s constant cat calls. You see, Herbert was a leg man..err spider…and Sally had legs that went for a mile! Eight of them in fact.

Finally tired of the abuse, Sally devised a plan of action. Late one night after Herbert had gone on one of his caffeine benders, Sally crept down to The Hood’s web. Gently with one of those long sexy legs that Herbert coveted so much, Sally began to strum Herbert’s web.

Herbert The Hood, high on caffeine and thinking he hit the jackpot, ran to Sally with no regard for his own safety. It was a foolish mistake that ended up being Herbert’s last. You see, Sally had set a trap. And when The Hood got close enough Sally wrapped him up in a silk ball and ate him. She left the husk of Herbert in his own front lawn as a warning to all others. On this day Sally graduated from Sally The Hoodlum to Sally The Hood.

While Sally had risen far, she had yet to achieve Thug status. But that was about to change. You see, Sally began to run things differently than Herbert. While she was still ruthless when necessary, Sally allowed the locals to live their lives without harassment. Soon she had all of crossroads under her control. And whenever anyone did get out of line, the husk of Herbert The Hood was a vivid reminder of the consequences of crossing Sally.

Alas, Sally was growing tired of crossroads. Lucky for her, Twig and Shingle (Sally’s distant cousins on her mothers side) moved to crossroads. Sally took them under her wing and began to mentor Twig and Shingle in the ways of the hoodlum*. After vigorous training, they became Sally’s first henchmen. It was now time for sally to move on up and truly become the thug she was meant to be.

Leaving Twig and Shingle in charge of the crossroads, Sally began her arduous climb upwards late one night. Up the stairs she went. After the strenuous stair climb, it was over the dividing wall for Sally and into the bathroom. Remembering the night time stories he father used to tell her of the infamous Shower Spider, Sally wisely avoided the temptation to make her new home above the giant shower waterfall that was the scene of Shower Spider’s demise. Instead, Sally opted for the little nook in the ceiling behind the bathroom door to make her home.

Sally had done it! She attained an elevation that few spiders had ever dared to reach for! And in doing so, Sally attained the title Thug. Sally The Thug continued to rule the crossroads from her new perch for the remainder of her days.

* As a side note “The Ways of the Hoodlum” will be the title of Sally’s forthcoming book on thug life. Soon to be available on the Kindle at Amazon!

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