Attention! Attention everyone! I have a formal announcement to make. I am hereby putting forth my intention to start my mid-life crisis. This is not a decision that I?ve come to lightly but one that I have reached after many hours of soul searching. I have struggled against this; however, I now acknowledge that if I do not start my mid-life crisis now, I may never have the opportunity to go through with it. So with firm resolve, I hereby and forthwith progress forward with this right of passage.
Being that I tend to be rather frugal, I have decided to forgo the $100k sports car that can go Mach I in under 3 seconds. Similarly, I’ve decided to avoid the fresh-out-of-high-school, buxom, 19-year-old blond that take 3 seconds to go through $100k.
Instead, I?ve decided to go an alternate route. I?ve decided to re-live the glory of my youth!! That?s right, I haven?t always been this mild mannered webmaster. At the pinnacle of my awesomeness, I was once known as?dun Dun DUNNN? Slick Rick!
What? Slick Rick doesn?t ring a bell? Well how about Ozone, Turbo or Special K? You know, the movie Breakin? circa 1984?
That?s right! I am going to re-live my breakdancing days! And I am quite sure you will be thoroughly impressed with my prowess on the dance floor. At this point my plans include starting off with the windmill (insert oo?s and ah?s). If I have not broken anything by the time I finish that, I shall attempt to re-enact my signature move, the donkey (insert jackass joke here)! And for the grand finale, I am thinking I will jump off the picnic table and go straight into a windmill. By this time the ambulance should be there so there will be little additional risk.
Please bear in mind that I have not attempted these moves since I was?15??so I may be slightly rusty.
Now there are going to be two things that I?m going to be needing to complete my mid-life crisis quest. Firstly, I shall require a large piece of cardboard. This not only will help create nostalgia but it will also aid in the cleanup of any quantity of blood that happens to be separated from my person. If anyone has a large piece of cardboard to donate, I will gladly accept it.
Secondly, I will be needing someone with a steady hand that can record my
misfortune triumph. I am hereby nominating Paula since she has the picnic table and is relatively close to a hospital.
Now since a mid-life crisis is not complete without some form of public humiliation, I shall be posting the video on my website and/or Facebook account.